34 Forever: A Tribute to Christina

As I sit down to write this post I feel at a loss for words, but at the same time, I am filled with thoughts and words floating through my mind and heart. Today I simply went through the motions, fighting back the tears that kept trying to surface, and sometimes they just wouldn't go away. I picked up my sweet baby boy from daycare today and he gave me a long, comforting hug after running into my arms. It's like he knew just what I needed. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, I was so thankful and blessed to have him in my arms. All I can think about is her family, her husband, and her sweet baby girl, otherwise known as "Madame". I have some guilt for feeling so sad and upset knowing that so many others so close to her are grieving so much more than I. I guess sometimes writing things out or doing something tangible is my way of working through my feelings, so forgive me if this post drags on. It's more for me than for anyone who might read it.

Yesterday, on her 34th birthday, the world lost a bright light. Christina Rosales (Pirruccello) was my friend, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a family member, and an all around passionate and kind person. We were co-workers at the Network for many years, but really we were friends. Everyone has a lot of co-workers throughout their careers, some friends, some acquaintances, some just co-workers. I can say with confidence that she was a friend to all of us, she wasn't just a co-worker.

At this moment, I would just like to say @*$# CANCER!!!

Christina was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago in 2010. She fought courageously through it for one year, was back to work and her bubbly self the next year, and then it came back again most recently a few months ago. I don't know details of her feelings, joys, pains, and life through the last few months but I can only imagine. I wish nothing but love, security in knowing she is no longer in pain, and faith to her family.

As I am working through my emotions and feelings, it's so strange to have things like her Facebook page and pictures, her blog, her Pinterest boards, and our old email messages to look back on and browse through. It brings a smile to my face to read through the times where she was not in the throws of cancer and was back to her lively and energetic self. You can see it in her posts and pictures. The thing that makes me smile the most is her oozing love for Ella Mae. Christina was so proud to be the mother of that spunky, beautiful little girl and everyone knew it. When I was having our baby, Christina was always so kind and supportive of every stage of pregnancy and parenthood I went through. She once told me "Motherhood has changed my life in the best way". I agree Christina, it has for me also and thank you for sharing your experiences with me.

I left the Network about 7 months ago and I think the last time I saw Christina was on my last day of work. I spent some time walking around saying goodbye to everyone and I have a vivid memory of my conversation with her that day. Christina had spent many months getting back to who she felt like she was meant to be. She had energy, she was working out on lunch breaks, she was on top of her game with her job, she was living life and was so thankful! I went down to the 4th floor of the CDPH building to say my goodbyes and stopped by her cube. She was all dressed up, looking as lovely as ever. She had her short styled hair, a dress on with a cardigan, and a beautiful flower pinned to her chest. I think the flower was something a friend might have made. Christina was scheduled for an interview that day for a new position within the Network. As we were talking, she asked me if I thought the flower was too much? She said some people thought it might be too informal for an interview, maybe not professional enough. I gave her my opinion. I said, "No" I don't think it's too much, I think it's you. I think it shows your bubbly personality and spunk. She was so cute, she said something to the effect of, "I know, that's what I was thinking. I am proud of who I am and I think it shows all of me, not just a professional part of me". I ensured her that I thought it was fine to wear that flower with pride. I am not sure if I will ever know if she wore that flower or not, but I like to imagine she did.

There are so many parts to this story that are tragic. Anyone who is dealing with cancer themselves, or through a loved one, is dealing with their own set of tragedies. I hope, pray, and have faith that God has our plan and has his reasons for these tragedies. The fact remains that I am angry that some people choose to kill others or leave this world by their on hand. It's hard to accept because sweet deserving people like Christina, who are so thankful for every breath that they take, don't choose. They are given these tragedies. Ella Mae, in her all of almost three years of life, was given this tragedy. She has an amazing and loving family to help her through the years, but my heart will always ache for her and the memory of her mother.

With that said, Christina's family started a fund to help support Ella Mae and her future. I can't make any promises, but here goes. I want to help. I want to do something in memory of my friend and in support of her daughter's future. Tonight, in memory of our last conversation, that flower, her smile, her laughter, and her life, I pulled out my craft supplies and made something. I made a flower. I am going to wear that flower with pride. I am also going to sell these flowers and all the proceeds will go to Ella Mae. If you or anyone you know wants to buy a flower, email me and I will make you a flower and give the proceeds to Christina and Ryan's daughter Ella's education fund.
Since the birth of my son 17 months ago, a level of fear and worry has crept up inside of me. I am sometimes afraid of the future, afraid of tragedies, and flat out afraid of death. I have definitely been challenged lately to keep that fear away and have trust and faith. Maybe Christina was afraid of death, maybe she wasn't. I know deep down that she is in a place where she is pain free and can watch over her daughter and family with a smile.

May your soul rest in peace my friend, may you experience the joys of heaven, and may you be there in spirit for your daughter all the days of her life. You have touched the lives of so many, so many more than you will ever know.

You will always have a place in my heart friend.
Love, Sarah

New Inspiration

Well hello there old friend. My little blog, oh how I have missed you. So much that you don't even show up on my top sites screen anymore. It was so interesting to see the most recent traffic stats though, somehow people are still stumbling onto my blog and the numbers are still up (I used to check regularly and probably haven't looked in over 5 months!).

What can I say, life, the job, and family have kept me very pre-occupied lately. I have drifted away from a lot of my side work, special projects, and design that I desperately want to continue, there's just not enough time in the day it seems!

I have been searching for balance, new inspiration, and a more leveled out schedule. I am happy to say that I am getting there. I took for granted the level of comfort and experience I had in my previous job at the Network, one which I felt pretty good about my ability to do. I quickly learned that not knowing what you are doing in a new job equals being uncomfortable and challenged, but now after almost 5 months, things are starting to shake out and I am feeling a bit more confident in what I am doing =)

Over the past few months, a lot of my "fun" time went away. My family time is always fun but this is a different kind of fun time, more like creative me time. It was blogging, house projects, photography, learning to sew, designing, and trying to get an Etsy shop going (it's gonna happen someday, mark my words). I am slowly figuring out how to get my "fun" time back =). On top of that, working out has quietly slipped back into my schedule thanks to an awesome birthday gift from the hubby, yoga classes for 3 months at my favorite yoga studio, Padme Yoga Center.

Anyway, along the idea of looking for new inspiration, I decided that the chalkboard we have hanging in our kitchen needed a little pick me up.


It is a really cute board we got at the Grass Valley Italian Festival last year, thank you Nancy! I love the traditional images but wanted to freshen it up with some images that would inspire us and make us smile as we walked by on our way out the door for work each morning. Thanks to Pinterest, it was easy to find a few photos I like and this quote, "Welcome to today. Another day, another chance. Feel free to change.". I just printed the images out the same size as the existing image and voila!


Gino has been really supportive through all of our life changes, is always optimistic, and reminds me to stay positive and look at all the wonderful things we are blessed with. I want to be reminded every day to count our blessings and be glad! =)



That's all for now, thanks for stopping by and listening.
Sarah

Cha... Cha... Cha... Changes!

Goodbye Network for a Healthy California (Network) and the Department of Public Health, it has been a great 6.5 years! Over the years I would occasionally think about what it would be like to not work at the Network and soon I will know what that's actually like. I have spent at least 80% of my professional career within the walls of the California Department of Public Health's building on Capitol Avenue. I feel fortunate to have gained a wide variety of experiences with the Network from a complete organizational re-brand, television advertising shoots, food and cookbook photo shoots, focus groups with real California Moms struggling to feed their families healthy and affordable foods, production of award winning publications and educational materials, and so much more. I watched the Network grow over the years and developed a strong bond with my Communications and Media Unit. I will leave with a life long passion for healthy eating and active living and I want to continue to do what I can to help people get and eat healthy, fresh, and affordable fruits and vegetables in one way or another.

Here are a few embarrassing moments at the Network!

Oh, don't worry, that's just me with pigtails in my hair.... forced to try and look like a teen.... thanks Kristy.... I let them do that to me and all I can say is WOW. It got even worse when a friend actually saw the poster in her local grocery store!

There is a lot at the Network that I won't miss but I will miss the people. Barbara, Becky, Kristy, Loren, Sarita, Iain, Carmen, Mary, and Kathryn. There are a handful of others that I have thoroughly enjoyed working with and respect their passion, dedication, and skills they are devoting to making California a healthier place!

It's now my time to move on and I couldn't be happier to be moving to a place where I already feel welcome! I start a new job on Monday with 3fold Communications as an Account Manager. 3fold is a fun, creative, and community focused communications and marketing agency located in the heart of midtown Sacramento. They were awarded the Sacramento Metro Chamber's Small Business of the Year Award for 2011 and are widely respected in the local Sacramento community. 3fold represents private and non-profit clients so I will be able to experience working with both sides of the business.

I look forward to this new chapter in my life. There are big changes happening and I am ready to meet them head on with energy and determination to do great things. Definitely check out the Web site, like the Facebook page, follow them on Twitter, keep up with their blog, and contact me if you think there is an opportunity to work together in the future! Just a few more days and I will officially be a 3folder!